What do you want. life?
Repeatedly putting me down, knocking me off. Then you give me false hopes, lift me up and push me back down.
Again and Again.
What's weird is that I've been shoved down so many times, rejected on so many occasions, turned down by so many people that nothing matters anymore. Not sad, not happy.
Just sian.
Really, maybe I just need some happiness right now.
I am too numb from all these punches, too scarred from all these cuts to care about one more minor scratch. And it feels like it isn't my fault. It was my choice but my choice wouldn't have changed even if I were able to go back in time.
Life sucks? Move on. There are so many people in life that make it worthwhile and so many people right now who suddenly brighten my day, make me feel better.
I need to reconsider my life, that I should hold everything together better. I shouldn't be discouraged by all the setbacks, shouldn't be sad at all these. I should have that fiery passion that tells me to come back up. To be more discipline, and to bounce back up from these setbacks.
No more of the stupid whining, that sobering little kid that whines over spilt milk and lost chances, but now there shall be a towering mammoth who get shot down time and again but he comes back stronger.
He rips his opposition.
He breaks their spirit.
He eats their hearts.
One day I'll finally show other people I'm capable of, maybe. But not now.
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