12 minutes to Midnight

The bell rang shrilly,
Down the road we go
The grimy sides are dirty,
But still we go.

12 minutes to midnight,
the owls hoot,
the leaves rustle,
And I walk down that road,

To that place I hope to find,
place of endless hopes,
salvage what I've lost,
seek the fortunes.

12 minutes to midnight,
the moon over me,
images in the lakes,
and further down the road I go.

Time is naught I'm almost there,
reaching soon,
to find whats fair,
below the moon

Midnight strikes, the bell chimes
Upon the gravestone I find,
My hopes and dreams,
Dead in my mind.

Next time when I go
down that long road,
I'll leave for it
before sunset.

Events

Well, I made that stupid move today.
Its too early to make that move, I swore after EOY.
After EOY it shall be then

Soccer :D

So, instead of something dreary and emo I'm gonna talk about soccer today haha!
On saturday, I went all the way to BOON LAY (I stay in Bedok btw) to play soccer with Jeremy Ee and Eugene Pang they all. Actually in fact I don't know them very well... but then they are the best players in the school haha. Yes, they are the BEST in the school, and it was a really big supposed "honor" to play keeper for them.
Thankfully, I didn't let them down. I mean, it took me quite a while to establish myself as one of the best keepers in the school. Not trying to brag or anything, but yeah ask anyone and they would know me by my keeping standards.. I hope. Anyway I made many clean saves today which I was really, really proud of. I didn't spill the ball and had a firm grip which I was really happy. On top of that, there were 2 penalties awarded to the opponent that day, but I stepped up to the occasion and saved both penalties!! I mean, the ball was slightly straight but I think for my 2nd field appearance I played really really really well, and I was happy. I let in a goal on judgement error, but that could be improved on :D

THEN AGIAN >( I LOST MY KNEEGUARD WHEN RUNNING TO THE FIELD ARGH ASDFGH SIAN IT WAS A NIKE KNEE GUARD AND WAS QUITE EXPENSIVE :'(

Onto my second point...
This weekend marked the start of the EPL season :) The starting day saw many many interesting scorelines... Liverpool lost 3-0 to west Brom... Fulham 5-0 Norwich.. Swansea 5-0 QPR... none of them was expected. And this is why soccer is so interesting.
Chelsea was ok.. they had a strong start, finishing 2-0 against Wigan but honestly, they could have done much much better.
Oh well, hope to see Hazard and Oscar shine!

Cheers :D

._.

Why did chelsea lose the community shield T.T
I damn sad alr lah :(
But haha I think I'm quite screwed leh soccer makes me sadder than anything else. Including people sometimes ._.

Anyway idk why my blog views has been spiking up for the past few days.
Theory 1) Royanne, Erin and Akira are spam reading this blog as I speak
Theory 2) There are random stalkers on the internet

Oh scary ._.

Clues?

It took me this long to realize that I'm a really emotionally attached person.
I just can't bear seeing people hurt and sad...
Emotionally pained..
scarred.

It's really painful for me to watch my friends go about in anguish and talking about how they wanna die.
Don't die.
Life is worth living.
"Convince me, that life is worth living"
and honestly, I can't convince you. I haven't found my purpose in my life.
When will I find it? I have no clue too.

So, for the past 8 months, I have duly operated this blog, poured my heart into it. What was the reason I made this blog? I think it was because you had a blog. And I felt that this was the place for me to pour my heart into.
I used to have many avenues to pour my heart into. One of them is gone.
This is one I mustn't lose.

Sometimes, I really hoped that I was cold, like then I won't be able to care and give a shit about other people.. like honestly. I don't give a fuck.
IDGAF.
But nope, I can never do that. I won't stop caring for my friends, I won't stop being the friend I want myself to be.

I saw Yee Hong today.. after so, so long. I really missed him... my best friend.. the idiot who knows everything about me.
I really hope he can work hard and come back to Hwa Chong, I wanna spend more time chatting with him and doing all sorts of retarded shit again with him.
He is my bestest friend forever, and I think I owe him too much and I should repay him in one way or another.

Best friend forever.

Good day :)

Today was a slack and enjoyable day haha.
Thanks Royanne and Erin for the wonderful day today! We had lunch and then watched total recall! Had fun and even though Erin didn't talk much, you should have talked more >(
Haha total recall was not bad, its futuristic settings are really nice. I really like sci-fi movies and mindeff movies. I guess it was both xD
The movie got me realllllllyyyy thinking. Maybe one day I'll wake up from this dream, to find myself among people who I don't know. Then they will tell me that I was in a coma for XXX years... the life that I "lived" was fabricated and fake. Wow. That would be something interesting. I remember the yu-gi-oh episode I watched long long ago, where Kaiba's step brother was trapped in this alternate universe, where he thought everyone was real, but in the end they were only humanoid robots who were there to create the illusion of a life.
Maybe.. just maybe... my life is a lie? Everyone is a fabricated illusion? Thats something interesting.

But I won't be able to stand it. These people in my life now are the ones who matter to me. Those wonderful friends I have.

Im not emo or sad anymore. 1 day is enough ok!
I'm over all of these and am gonna go ahead with my life :D

Oh well

So I get this feeling again. Once every year. Is it a curse? Ir seems as if I got used to it. I'm used to this pain. I'm numb to this pain now. 

In sec 1 I was naive, in sec 2 I was hopeful. In sec 3 I was broken. Sec 4 I'm cold. I can't believe how 4 years of school has changed me. How I used to be so enthusiastic and interested in everything. How I got myself broken again and again by the people I cherish. Failure haunts me. How hurt every single time I care for a friend, yet get my concern brushed away and taken lightly... Really hurts me.

Maybe I should have stayed in Canada. There everyone cares for each other. I can tell my friend what I feel. We all care for each other. 

Singapore is a cold society. No one gives a shit about my feelings. No one gives a shit about anyone's feeling. I am becoming cold, I am becoming heartless. I am becomming to heartless and cold, to the extent that people who do not know me well think that I'm dao, that I'm cold. That I don't care. 

I do.

And why do I care so much about you then? You have mistaken me. I am not as inquisitive as you think. Maybe it's only you who I am inquisitive to. You are the on who I entered into your life and felt that you were someone who hid many problems in your heart. You had so many problems that you werent willing to share with. I felt that I could be someone who could make your day better, make you happier. 

Again, I have no clue again. No more clue. I'm a failure as a friend. I'm sorry

Interlinking

Physics D: Haish. Dont wanna talk about it.

Its so weird how people can influence each other. I seem to be so negatively influenced and positively influenced all the time. And then, I influence people. 

But sometimes, is the influence too much? That whatever someone else does influences me and changes my emotion? And the same for me, how my anger can go ahead to affect so many people? D: I don't know. Hmm