Stress/lack thereof

First of all.
This is a rant. A rant of the things that are about to come.
I'm actually abit scared of the possibilities of the future.
Ok maybe not abit. Really scared.

I've never been a stressed person. I'm not affected by other people and to put it clear. I don't give a single shit about my promos right now. Like legit, 0 fks given.
And its not because I'm not concerned about my results or anything but its just that I don't have a single motivation to push me forward and its just becoming quite dangerous and difficult for me. There's really nothing for me to work hard to.
And I'm.... scared that I don't have stress?

Stress might actually be a good thing because right now I don't feel anything and I'm genuinely concerned about this.
Its not good to be unfeeling, right?

I'm scared that I don't have enough time for As, not enough time to pick myself up to improve from a U to an A. Not enough time to rise from an average student to a top one by working hard.
Heck, I don't even know if I can work hard.

And the worst thing is, I'm afraid that one day all the stress that I have never ever experienced before come crashing down on me and I'll break down.
I think its really possible right now and thats what I'm scared of the most.

I think I'm already getting pangs of anxiety sometimes.

Numero Un

Numero Un of a man's greatest fears would probably list a whole variety of different problems for different men. The great archives were never enough to store the different characteristics and insecurities one had. Numero Un is the number 1 most disliked fear, the defining point of a man; the essential crux of his being and his most vulnerable sweet spot.

So whats mine?

Orchestrated

Do you ever feel as if you're living a life where everything is just orchestrated
and that the way you live is just part of a grander scheme of lies?
And everyone around you is now what you believed to be?
I dont know.
Fuck this feeling.